I apologize for any confusion that may result from the fact I stuffed so many characters into the same ad. These ones are just ones where I think it might be harder to pick up someone, significantly easier to pick up someone, or I just have a whole lot less to say, so it didn't make sense for me to make a whole separate ad for them. Almost all the faces are flexible, as are the ages and finer details, so any playbys that show up on the hovers are merely suggestions.
|( falcon ) 30s ⋅ hero ⋅ the avengers ⋅ anthony mackie wanted as frienemy for bucky barnes and teammate for clint barton|
Hello yes I have an announcement I would like to make. /leans into mike Goodbye you little shit.
My terrible jokes aside, I honestly do want Sam around to bully Bucky with the beautiful sibling relationship we saw in Civil War. And that we see between Seb and Anthony in interviews. All I want in life is for the two of them to constantly give each other shit and for Steve to be quietly distressed in the background because he just wants his best friends to get along, not for Sam to go "that's rough buddy" while hiding all of Bucky's left shoes.
Also if you don't think that Sam and Clint are probably responsible for the worst kinds of prank wars in the tower, you're wrong and that's probably exactly what happens if they're left unattended.
|( captain america ) 90s ⋅ hero ⋅ the avengers ⋅ chris evans wanted as best friend for bucky barnes, war buddy for brian falsworth, and teammate for clint barton|
Steve has been taken by Jennifer
Steve you little shit why did you say 'til the end of the line' when it's a train reference. You are the worst. Bucky ought to have unfriended your ass like. Eighty years ago when you ended up getting him nearly killed on a daily basis.
I need Twiggy McFiteMe in my life okay. I need the man who used to fight literally everything and now would do just about anything to get his best friend back.
Also said best friend finally came out of the closet, so no more friendship boners, but bad news, he came out of the closet directly into Tony's lap, so good luck.
But also I am trash and want not only all the threads with Steve and Clint being bros but also just. The bittersweet pain of Steve reunited with Brian, his old war buddy from way back when, and the two of them striking up their old friendship again.
Also look, I'm not saying I headcanon that Brian's kissed all the super soldiers, but I'm not not saying that. I'll admit I ship it, but that would of course depend on what you want and whether Brian's already shipped. Everything is entirely up to you in that end.
So. In conclusion. Give us the star spangled man with no plan and no parachute goddammit Steve stop leaping out of planes without one you need those to not break your legs ffs one of the boys will duct tape you to it and solve the problem.
|( n/a ) 40s ⋅ civilian ⋅ unaffiliated ⋅ linda cardellini wanted as sister for clint (+ barney) barton|
Look, while I have a strong dislike for the farmer Clint plotline in AoU because it makes literally no sense as it was implemented in the movie, I actually have nothing against Laura and the kids. And I actually really like the idea of him having family, and well. Let's just say I found a Tumblr post proposing the idea of Laura having been his sister and I loved it.
So I imagine that Laura's more or less the middle child of the Barton family and she, unlike her siblings, was mostly spared from their father. And she more or less split from the boys ASAP once they ended up in foster care because she did not want to be drug down by them anymore. Which she probably regretted later, but y'know, this is reality for her now. But she's fixed the bond with Clint and now he comes out to the farm to help her and the kids and keeps her safe. Even if he can't fix the roof. He's sorry Laura. He's just a disaster.
|( trickshot ) 40s ⋅ villain ⋅ unaffiliated ⋅ open wanted as brother for clint (+ laura) barton|
Barney has been taken by Zodoff
Please excuse me as I bang my fists against the table and demand the Barton sibling who makes Clint look like the best option out of the gene pool. No but for real, Barney's a cool character in the comics, so I am so down for this boy who more or less prodded their abusive alcoholic dad to keep Clint from being beaten and who taught him sign language and was more or less Clint's hero up until Clint messed up and didn't follow him after they left the circus.
All I want in my life is Barney just showing up again all "hey I'm not dead" and then causing trouble for Clint because that's what he's best at, let's be real here. But Clint loves him anyway. Probably.
|( mockingbird ) 30s ⋅ hero ⋅ shield ⋅ adrianne palicki wanted as old friend / workmate for clint barton|
Okay, confession time, I've not actually seen Agents of SHIELD, which I'm like. 90% sure that Bobbi's actually in. But. That being said, while Clint is already happily married (so the comics plotline of Clint and Bobbi being married isn't going to be a thing), I would love to imagine that she was another one of his common partners when Nat wasn't around or available for things. And that they got along well. Well enough to keep on drinking together and doing favors for each other even after Clint went with the Avengers.
Bonus points if she's been kicking his ass to go actually ask Natasha out for years now and she's just disappointed it took him this long to finally go for her. Also he just needs more birdwatchers okay? He's not earned his adulting license, but someone gave it to him anyway, this was a mistake.
|( catwoman ) 30s ⋅ neutral ⋅ n/a ⋅ open wanted as frienemy for bruce wayne + friendly rival for felicia hardy|
Selina has been taken by Ely
Hello, yes, original crazy cat lady, please come back so you can steal all the cat things. Terrible humor aside, I do have a certain place in my heart for Selina. I really liked her in the Telltale series, so I think it would be cool for Vicki to try courting her again for the Children. But I'd also love for Selina to be playing games with Bruce (they're just friends though, the man's too gay for Superman) and the two of them to just. Bicker and chase each other but they would fight to protect each other from all the bad things.
Also I absolutely need for Felicia Hardy and Selina Kyle to meet up and have a double take because I would laugh at the two of them realizing the similarities between them. Also the possibility of Selina taking in Felicia as an apprentice would be hilarious
and bonus points if we rope Remy into shenanigans too to be entirely honest.
|( green goblin ) 40s ⋅ villain ⋅ thunderbolts? ⋅ open wanted as father for harry osborn|
I have many, many feelings about Norman. And not just because I really liked Harry in TASM and can completely see how he ended up shaping Harry into the burning edgelord of a dumpster fire that he was.
But for real, I honestly have been going down the road that Norman was a bit neglectful of Harry (between the company and then pushing him down to try to be better than Tony Stark at tech, which wasn't Harry's strong point, that would be biology) and the two of them had a terrible relationship, to the point where Harry outright hates him. Also I've been totally running with Norman's comic origin where the Goblin Formula was actually made by Harry screwing up something and Norman getting it and I love it.
That being said however, I totally get if you would not be down for a more hateful / abusive relationship for the two of them, so if you'd rather alt earth him and then have concerned parent Norman horrified by the fact that Tony's adopting his son, this is also an option I am down for. Give Harry proper parentage 2k18.
|( spider-gwen ) 20s ⋅ hero ⋅ spider-fam ⋅ emma stone wanted as old friend / new enemy for harry osborn|
Gwen has been taken by Ely
Gwen. My heart, my love. You did not even remotely deserve your fate.
My weeping aside, I'd honestly super love to see a Spider-Gwen swinging around. Bonus points if she stops Harry's plans on the regular and he just "all right time to add another spider onto the list of things I'm burning". Double bonus points if she remembers him from school and he remembers his universe's Gwen from school and it's just awkward all around.
Just please note that Harry did not actually kill Gwen! He never got that far. He was too busy writhing around on the floor in agony. Like a worm. Because Gwen deserved better and also thanks TASM2, that was probably the one thing you had that I was very much not down for.
|( n/a ) 20s ⋅ civilian ⋅ spider-fam ⋅ kat mcnamara wanted as old friend for harry osborn|
Ahhhhh I am an old Spider-fan, so I am absolutely in the camp of "Michelle is not MJ fight me". Not because I didn't love Michelle, because I did, she was easily one of the best parts of Spider-man: Homecoming, hands down, but rather because MJ is supposed to be a more uplifting, positive force (she reminds those around her to do the right thing and actually inspires them to do it, where I don't really think Michelle would do that).
I'm not really a fan of that comics plot where Harry was constantly pining after her because gods forbid men be close friends to a girl and not want to sleep with her. But. That being said, give me a Mary Jane who befriended Harry in high school and kept in touch with him even after he graduated because she wants to keep being there for him and she was always concerned about him. Give me a MJ who knew he was sick before he told anyone else and who was just his best confidant and sticks up for him and just. Is a good friend to him because goodness knows he needs that right now.
|( n/a ) 30s ⋅ civilian ⋅ n/a ⋅ lucy davis wanted as friend for steve trevor|
Honestly, I loved Etta in Wonder Woman, she was great, and I'd love for her to be around in modern times too! Actually I imagine she'd probably do a lot better about adjusting that Steve would (which I mean, of course she would, Steve's coping strategy seems to consist of yelling for Diana when things confuse him).
Also she can kick all the war relics in the butt with Diana and I am so very down for this.
|( union jack ) 50s ⋅ hero ⋅ invaders? ⋅ colin firth wanted as father for brian (+ jacqueline) falsworth|
In case it wasn't obvious by now that I am absolutely Kingsman trash, hi hello, I loved that movie and all I want now is to bring more dashing British spies over to beat up all those pesky American spies.
James was also primarily active during World War I (and some of WWII, but he was older by then), so uh. I mean. It'd also be super cool if he was able to go interact with Steve Trevor and Etta Candy. And I've been strongly headcanoning that he and Diana got along and she basically became the adopted aunt of the family. Fight me.
Also look, I'm not saying I wouldn't find it great for James to find out that his son didn't die in the car crash like they all thought, but I'm also not not saying that, so, please let me do the thing, I beg you.
|( n/a ) 1000s ⋅ villain / neutral ⋅ asgardians ⋅ tom hiddleston wanted as friend / romantic interest for brian falsworth|
Okay I'll just admit flat out that this one is 10000% self-indulgent and inspired by Avengers Academy because the plotline was surprisingly good. But. My body is ready for Brian and Loki to strike up an amazingly sound relationship based on Brian's ability to see past Loki's more arrogant bullshit and Loki's lingering grudging
fondness respect for the Flag Man.
While I do ship Loki and Brian, that's something I'm going to leave up to whether or not Brian's in a relationship at the moment and whether or not you're down for that. Since if not, no big deal, friends are also good.
Also my entire body is down for the Avengers coming to visit Brian in England and then the old war relics freeze in the doorway because Brian and Loki are getting along and then Thor snaps and tries to kill Brian because how dare you be that close to my brother and not tell me, if you hurt him I will grind your bones into powder and just. Overprotective big brother Thor and completely shellshocked Steve and Bucky, sign me up please.
|( starlord ) 40s ⋅ hero ⋅ guardians of the galaxy ⋅ chris pratt wanted as adopted son for yondu udonta|
Peter has been taken by Zodoff
Look man, Yondu needs his son, okay, there's enough said literally just in that.
No but for real here. Peter's very much needed just in general, to keep our Guardians in line and to bail his dad out of a potential space jail. Or keep him from spontaneously adopting more Terran children. Both of these are distinct aspects of concerning reality at the moment.
Also Taneleer might or might not be his jurisdiction as well so. In conclusion. No lost love for Peter, please come do the thing.
|( deadpool ) 40s ⋅ neutral ⋅ unaffiliated ⋅ ryan reynolds wanted as pain in the ass for felicia hardy|
Wade fucking Wilson. Otherwise known as the biggest pain in the ass the X-Men have ever met. Please. Please let me have him. Please. All I want in this world is for Christina to regularly resist the urge to punch him in the face and fail terribly because Wade is the single most annoying piece of shit it's ever been her misfortune to meet. Also for Scott to groan any time Wade's in the mansion but Peter to perk up because Wade's one of the few people who actually plays Mario Kart with him on the regular, and that's important since Peter cheats with his powers.
Also on a different tangent just. I imagine he either gets along really well or really poorly with Felicia and there is literally no in between. They're ride or die, either she's never met him before in her life mister officer or she's there to literally stab a bitch for him. Also I'm not saying that they don't regularly engage in prank wars but I'm also not not saying that. Also I imagine they understand each other fairly well so. Uh. Yeah. I need this relationship badly.
|( deathstroke ) 40s ⋅ villain ⋅ unaffiliated? ⋅ joe manganiello wanted as enemy for rachel roth|
I loved Teen Titans as a kid, so. To say that I would not be invested in getting Slade around to cause havoc with the Titans would be a lie. I am very interested in the thing. Please give it to me.
Bonus points if we get Tara to also mess around with because uh. Hello. I am very down for manipulative Slade. And I was yelling at the end of Justice League when he showed up because my body is ready. Just let me do the thing, c'mon.
|( marvel girl ) 20s ⋅ hero ⋅ x-men ⋅ sophie turner wanted as romantic interest for scott summers|
Jean has been taken by Quinn
Jean! Jean! Jean please yes Jean!
My desire to scream incoherently about Jean aside, I have a strong need for Jean. Because I am trash and I ship the both of them so hard and I will fight someone over them. Because just. Scott deserves better. Jean deserves better. I will weep tears and make grabby hands for them both.
Also for real, Scott working up the nerve to finally ask Jean out and just being absolutely besotted with her is my jam because he loves her so much, Jean come back, he wants you to know how much he loves you.
Also Alex took him out to the mall to get new clothes to impress you and he wants to know if it worked.
|( the kingpin ) 50s ⋅ villain ⋅ unaffiliated? ⋅ vincent d'onofrio wanted as mortal enemy for felicia hardy|
Look I have many feelings about the depths to which Felicia will sink in order to ruin the Kingpin's day, so all I want in life is for this to be a thing. He is the Dinkleberg of her life and she will stop at nothing to make everything his fault. Let her try to ruin his life in peace while he just absolutely barely notices her in comparison since I mean. Spider-Man and Daredevil and Punisher are more than enough problems on their own, thank you very much, Felicia's just nowhere near as good in comparison. Period.
|( daredevil ) 30s ⋅ hero ⋅ defenders ⋅ charlie cox wanted as fellow kingpin-day-ruiner for felicia hardy|
On one of the list of things we talk about, the comics thing with Matt and Felicia is just not one of them, 'kay thanks bye.
No but okay, for real, Felicia spends a lot of time out in Hell's Kitchen dealing with the Kingpin. And Matt is one of the Kingpin's actual biggest "legitimate" threats so. I imagine that they actually have a fairly good working relationship and run into each other a good bit. Which I'd be super interested in threading out and all that.
Bonus points if he's one of the few to figure out she doesn't have powers on his own. Also bonus points if he ends up going after Remy for a bit because look, she's not exactly his friend per se, but if he's playing her along, he is going to make her regret it. Yet more bonus points if she offers him help re: the other Defenders or re: Elektra. I am ready for that.
|( nightcrawler ) 20s ⋅ hero ⋅ x-men ⋅ open wanted as friend / possible romantic interest for peter maximoff|
Kurt was really cute in the movies, okay, and I kinda wanna see more of him. And while I'd love to thread him with Scott too, at the same time, I'm so very wanting for Kurt and Peter to get along. Like. I imagine the two of them engage in relay races or things around the mansion since Kurt's teleportation and Peter's speed make them both a pretty even match for each other. But also Peter gives literally no fucks about how he looks, he'll just throw an arm around Kurt and tug him off with him.
If they have the right chemistry, I'm definitely down for shipping them, but if you're not wanting that, I'm cool with them just being friends! Whatever you're up for is what I'm willing to take and run with. Promise.