"What's even your name, pizza dog? What do you about... Pupperoni?" he suggested. He took another swig of the beer he'd found when he'd been looking for something shut the little thing up with. Good to know he'd graduated from root beer without it turning into a problem, but he probably shouldn't lead the conversation with their father's alcoholism.
"That wouldn't be good, would it? Hmm. What about 'hi'? Can't go wrong with that, right?"